Spinning Swimming Yarns

28 Aug

Psychologists and anthropologists say storytelling is a basic human need.

As Shaun MacGillivray said at Tedx (Why Storytelling Can Change the World and Save the Ocean): ‘Since the beginning of humanity, every great society has used the power of storytelling to ensure that what’s important to them isn’t lost. Stories are how we learn, make us cry, make us laugh. They inspire us. They make us care.’

So peeps, cobbers, mugs and punters, what better thing to do just before daylight saving begins again and summer streams back into our lives, than gather for an evening of ocean swimming yarns?

Yes. Bring your tales out from the deep. Whether they are ripping yarns or yarns about rips inspired by current events. Your wet marine musings. Boasts of saltwater stamina or death defying aquatic feats. The stuff of swimming lore and legend.

Or simply come and listen. Be entertained, inspired or moved by writers, bloggers, raconteurs, comedians and those wanting absolution from you for just 5 minutes each on the night’s theme ‘My first time’ centred around ocean swimming.

‘Swimming cultivates imagination,’ wrote celebrated swimmer and movie mermaid Annette Kellerman.

'There's all these beautiful reflections'.  Therese (whose pitcher this is) from www.swimmingpoolstories.blogspot.com.au

‘There’s all these beautiful reflections’. Therese (whose pitcher this is) from http://www.swimmingpoolstories.blogspot.com.au

Yarning for a shore break already we have Mr Oceanswims himself, Paul Ellercamp, and a battle of the bloggers shaping up with:

The Bold & Beautiful’s Nick Dawkins, the only BnB blogger without a nickname (hang on, Nick is his name).  He’s Buoy Fridee in the calendar of BnB bloggers.  He’s been exhibited in the Australian Museum.  Nick said, ‘5 minutes, that’s not even as long as speed dating’.  Take note all you laydees who struggle to get past the last buoy.

Submerged sexagenarian, Murray Cox: ‘I swim to be alone’. ‘In a society that has, once again, become segregated along lines of wealth and generation, the beach remains the most inclusive domain – could it be that the less clothes you wear the less status- and age-conscious you are?’  And his laydee, Mimi Parfitt – will she be scrave enough to speak?

Judging from the above, Nick might be talking about ‘A close shave: my first smooth flutemouth’ and Murray could be talking about his first skinny dip or something philosophical about ocean swimming being the great societal leveller?  Former Australian Seniors Week Ambassador who has swum the length of the coast from Barrenjoey to Cape Banks, I am sure that Murray is full of wild fishy tales.

Who else, who else?
Passing on the audition so far has been Robster the Blogster ‘Pretty sure my blog is the glue that holds the B&B together’, ‘I do remember my first time. She was a lot older than me and I was really nervous. Before we even started…..

One for the Narooma Numnutz and Bermagui Blue Balls

One for the Narooma Numnutz and Bermagui Blue Balls

Oh wait, sorry just re-read your email, this is just swimming related?’
And his friends Loopey Lainey and Snorkles who were considering a double act about their first Bondi Cigar.  Mind you, judging by Loopey Lainey’s ocean temperature gauge, they would probably have been hilarious.

As yet to respond to the call are:

  • The most sought after after dinner speaker on the Murwillumbah function circuit;
  • A one time os.c blogger and member of the 2011 Maui channel swim team Aussie Tickers

Want to join them or know someone that should?

Here’s our chance to prompt Richard “Sharkbait” Murray out of blogging retirement, find out if Moose is hung like a horse or if Surfmuppet really is well into the Clydesdale range, lardy as five tubs of full cream vanilla ice cream.  Perhaps Helen mooseConway will come and tell us about extreme swimming.  Or maybe the man most criticised for wearing budgie smugglers himself might come (but Tony – my first time has to be ocean swimming related).  Could be anyone, Adam Spencer, Roy & HG, Dawn Fraser, GregInTheWater, the great doggess of ocean swimming and romance, or the most welcome person of all, an ordinary mug with a beautiful tale (that’s tale, not tail, no mermaids allowed) – like you.

Or if you know someone with an amazing story, pass on a link to this blog.

Whether it’s stand up (Cot to Rot – observation on life or famous ocean swim?; weed in the break – sea weed in the wave zone or half time pee in open water swim?), erotic fan fiction about Mrs Sparkle and/or the Glistener or a 21 yaks and a speedo motivational piece.  It just has to be something novel (but not a whole one – just 5 minutes).


Most importantly of all, come and listen, cry, laugh or be inspired and entertained.  It’s on Wednesday 2nd October 2013 from 6.30pm.  $25 in advance, $30 on the door (but places are limited).  Thanks to the Woolloomooloo Bay Hotel, all proceeds in aid of Can Too.  To register, click here

A chance to pool our stories and immerse ourselves in swimming culcha.  It should be a buoyant evening.  I hope to see you there.

4 Responses to “Spinning Swimming Yarns”

  1. London City Mum September 6, 2013 at 9:07 pm #

    I could blag a reason to come out to Oz (again), but in my absence I can offer this: http://www.londoncitymum.com/2011/05/revenge-of-killer-wetsuit.html

    LCM x

    • lizziecantoo September 9, 2013 at 12:52 am #

      You should definitely come back here. Then you could swim newd all the time. x

  2. Caron September 12, 2013 at 2:22 am #

    Hi Lizzie – how can I contact you about the storytelling night? Your program looks like it is full, but I’d like to give it a go – I’ve got a story about ocean swimming I’ve been working on, and it would be “My first time”. Maybe I could be a reserve – if anyone else doesn’t turn up – or gets too drunk while waiting their turn?

    • lizziecantoo September 12, 2013 at 5:24 am #

      Hi Caron – elite athletes like ocean swimmers drinking?! Like fish, I am sure! It had been my original intent yes to have both invited speakers and volunteer all comers but I got a bit overwhelmed with would-be yarners. What a wonderful problem to have! Why don’t you call me on 0414 655102 and we can have a chat? Best wishes Lizzie

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